Your Life's Objective Function
Make your implicit life values explicit and test daily choices against future-you
- Difficulty
- Easy
- Time to result
- ~ongoing to results
- Steps
- 3
- Confidence
- 90%
Borrowing from algorithm design, Nickels argues everyone runs an 'objective function' for their life — but most people's is inherited and unconscious, so they optimize short-term work wins at the expense of what matters long-term. The framework makes the objective function explicit and uses a future-self test plus death-awareness to keep daily actions aligned to it.
Origin
Framed by John Mark Nickels, drawing his 'objective function' language from designing matching/pricing algorithms at Uber. He credits Ray Dalio's Principles (write down your values) and Clayton Christensen's book 'How Will You Measure Your Life' (the Sunday-night slides-vs-daughter dilemma), plus Stoic memento-mori thinking (Seneca, Marcus Aurelius).
Core principles
- 01Everyone has a life objective function; the danger is leaving it unconscious and inherited
- 02Short-term-driven people repeatedly choose the urgent work task over the durable relationship
- 03Awareness of death 'punctuates reality' and forces reprioritization
- 04Today's and tomorrow's small actions compound into your long-term relationships and life
How to run it
- 1
Write down your values and principles
Make the implicit explicit. Instead of bobbing along on values inherited from family, church, or community, get clear on what you actually value and what your principles are.
Pro tip Ray Dalio's Principles is a useful prompt for this exercise.
- 2
Run the future-me test
For a given choice, project five years out and ask what future-you will actually care about. Future-you won't care whether a presentation was slightly better; future-you will care deeply about the relationships you built.
Pro tip Use it in the moment on concrete trade-offs (finish the deck vs. play with your kid) to see which choice future-you will endorse.
Watch out Short-term wins feel urgent and measurable; the long-term relationship feels deferrable, which is exactly the trap.
- 3
Let death-awareness reset priorities
Periodically hold the awareness that your life will end. Ask 'what would I wish I had done when I'm in my last breath?' to stop wasting time on things that don't matter with people who do.
Watch out Not meant to be morbid — the aim is to counteract the default of pretending you'll live forever.
In the wild
Nickels recounts Christensen's observation that successful executives are short-term driven: on Sunday night they polish Monday's presentation instead of playing with their kids, reasoning the child will be there next week. Over years this cycle erodes the relationship until the teenager wants nothing to do with them.
→ The framework reframes the daily micro-choice so the long-term relationship wins.
Common mistakes
Leaving the objective function implicit
An inherited, unexamined objective function silently optimizes for short-term work wins and misaligned values.
Treating relationships as always deferrable
'I'll play with her next week' repeated for years is how the relationship is lost.
Is it for you?
Best for
Ambitious high-achievers who feel successful at work but sense their personal life is drifting
Not ideal for
People in acute survival/crisis mode where long-horizon optimization is a luxury
From the transcript
“I really ingrained in this idea of like we have an objective function for our life and then like the problem is that a lot…”
“get clear on your objective function and one way that I've got clear is like trying to think about it for future me”
“five years from now I'm not going to give a [ __ ] if I made the presentation slightly better but I'm gonna care a lot about…”
“an awareness and mindfulness that our lives will come to an end um punctuates reality in a way that you know requires me to rethink…”
“the only people that'll remember you working late every night is your kids”
From the episode
Becoming a conscious leader: Leading without fear, finding your life’s objective function, and getting better at vision and strategy
John Mark Nickels (Uber, Waymo, DoorDash)