Options-With-A-Recommendation Pushback
Never say yes or no to stakeholders — present options, trade-offs, and one clear recommendation.
- Difficulty
- Moderate
- Time to result
- ~weeks to results
- Steps
- 3
- Confidence
- 90%
LeMay's approach to pushing back on stakeholder or executive requests without saying no: surface multiple options with their trade-offs and a recommended path, framing any low-impact request in terms of the impact adjustment it would require. This respects that decision-makers may hold information you don't, preserves the relationship, and still moves things forward with a point of view.
Origin
From Matt LeMay's 'Product Management in Practice' — he says the line he's proudest of is that done well, product management means never having to say yes or no. Tested in a Mailchimp roleplay workshop.
Core principles
- 01Done well, product management means you never have to say yes or never have to say no
- 02People in formal authority may have information you lack (an acquisition, a financial crunch) — trying to overrule them can fail and degrade trust
- 03A single option invites hole-poking from everyone's private anxieties; options with a recommendation channel that energy into refinement
- 04Frame a low-impact 'must-build' as a trade-off: fine, but our impact projection must adjust by this much
How to run it
- 1
Refuse the yes/no binary
When told to build something, don't accept or refuse. Position yourself as helping the decision-maker understand the trade-offs of their choice.
Pro tip Assume the requester may know things you don't — approach from curiosity, not correction.
Watch out Telling an authority figure 'no' rarely works and can burn a relationship you'll later need.
- 2
Present multiple options with trade-offs
Lay out several paths and their trade-offs, tying each to expected impact against your goal. If the request has clear high impact, embrace it; if unclear, name the impact adjustment it forces.
Pro tip Connect the request to your existing goals and priorities so the trade-off is concrete, e.g. 'sure, that means our impact projection adjusts by this much.'
- 3
Add a clear recommendation
Don't stop at neutral options — recommend one. People want you to have a perspective; 'options on a recommendation is the magic formula.'
Pro tip With a recommendation, each round of back-and-forth makes the options clearer and stronger instead of poking holes.
Watch out Presenting a single option makes people instinctively attack it with their own fears and anxieties, killing momentum.
In the wild
At Mailchimp, LeMay ran a workshop where product managers roleplayed selling in a single option versus multiple options with a recommendation. When someone presented a single option, listeners instinctively started poking holes — not out of malice but because all their unrepresented anxieties surfaced. When someone presented three options with trade-offs and a recommended one, the back-and-forth instead sharpened the choices.
→ The exercise demonstrated that 'options on a recommendation' preserves momentum and turns stakeholder scrutiny into refinement rather than resistance.
Common mistakes
Presenting a single option
A lone option makes people reflexively poke holes as their private what-ifs and fears surface, detracting from momentum; multiple options with trade-offs redirect that energy productively.
Offering options with no recommendation
Giving stakeholders a menu while claiming 'I have no opinion, you decide' frustrates them — people want the PM to have a perspective, so a recommendation must accompany the options.
Is it for you?
Best for
Product managers who are conflict-averse and need to push back on executive or stakeholder requests without damaging relationships.
Not ideal for
Situations demanding an immediate hard safety/legal stop where deliberative trade-off framing is inappropriate.
From the transcript
“if you're doing product management really well, you never have to say yes and you never have to say no. You're giving people options and…”
“It is quite possible that the folks who are asking you to do things that don't make sense have access to information that you don't”
“Options on a recommendation is kind of the the magic the magic formula”
“when you present a single option, people's instinct is just to like, well, I don't know, like you start poking holes in it”
From the episode
The one question that saves product careers
Matt LeMay