Deliberate Communication Practice Loop
Treat speaking up as a measurable skill: attempt, score, get feedback, repeat.
- Difficulty
- Moderate
- Time to result
- ~months to results
- Steps
- 5
- Confidence
- 97%
Liu learned to speak up by treating communication like any other skill. In business school she recorded tally marks for each contribution, then rated the quality of what she said. Her broader loop is to choose a real meeting, decide in advance how to show up, participate, measure the attempt, and gather feedback. Safe environments such as Toastmasters or peer circles provide additional repetitions before higher-stakes settings. Frequency matters because a person who speaks only once feels pressure to be brilliant, while a regular participant can make several useful attempts and survive an imperfect one. Leaders have an added responsibility: silence signals to their function that participation is not its place. The loop therefore builds both personal confidence and visible representation for the team.
Origin
Silence once protected Liu from racist bullying, and engineering classes let her avoid participation. When business school made participation 30 to 50 percent of the grade, she taught herself to speak by counting and scoring contributions.
Core principles
- 01Communication is a learnable skill, not a fixed personality trait.
- 02Frequent participation lowers the pressure on any single contribution.
- 03A safe practice group can build confidence for higher-stakes rooms.
- 04Visible leadership affects everyone who takes cues from the leader.
- 05People remember the team's overall signal more than one imperfect comment.
How to run it
- 1
Name the required behavior
Choose a specific communication behavior the role needs, such as contributing in reviews, presenting a strategy, or asking for resources. Separate that behavior from labels such as introvert or extrovert.
Pro tip Tie the behavior to a product, customer, or team outcome that matters to you.
Watch out A personality label can become a free pass not to practice.
- 2
Set the meeting intention
Before a selected meeting, decide what you want to achieve and how you will participate. Make the intention observable enough to score afterward.
Pro tip Liu recommends taking a few seconds before entering the meeting to set the outcome.
- 3
Take multiple shots
Join the conversation more than once instead of waiting for one perfect intervention. Repetition reduces the emotional weight placed on every sentence.
Pro tip Start in a safe circle or Toastmasters if the live workplace feels too high-stakes.
Watch out Speaking more is not permission to crowd out other participants.
- 4
Measure and score
Record how many times you contributed and rate whether the comments advanced the discussion. Look for progress across meetings, not perfection in one meeting.
Watch out Do not score yourself only on whether every comment sounded brilliant.
- 5
Collect feedback and repeat
Ask a trusted observer what helped, what was missing, and what to adjust next time. Practice the next meeting with one targeted change.
Pro tip A manager or peer can notice whether your function is becoming more visible, not just whether you spoke more.
In the wild
Business school participation grades terrified Liu because she had rarely raised her hand. She began marking every time she spoke and later rated how good the comments were, practicing the behavior as she would practice a language.
→ Repeated, measured practice helped her develop communication skills she later used in public speaking and executive leadership.
After a two-day product review, Liu told a respected functional leader that she had not said anything. The leader replied that she did not feel it was her place. Liu explained that her silence told everyone in her function that it was not their place either.
→ The leader found a team-centered reason to work on visible participation.
Common mistakes
Waiting for a perfect comment
Speaking only once makes that contribution feel impossibly important and prevents the repetitions needed to improve.
Treating introversion as destiny
Liu distinguishes a preference for solitude from the learnable behaviors of convening, presenting, and speaking up.
Ignoring the leadership signal
A leader's silence can teach an entire function to stay out of the conversation, even when that was not the leader's intent.
Is it for you?
Best for
Introverts, processors, and emerging leaders who have useful judgment but participate too rarely in meetings.
Not ideal for
People whose communication problem is primarily unclear thinking or missing subject knowledge rather than reluctance to contribute.
From the episode
How to own your career growth and become a powerful product leader
Deb Liu, Ancestry (ex-Facebook, PayPal)