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Donna Lichaw (author of The Leader’s Journey)25 February 2024

How to discover your superpowers, own your story, and unlock personal growth

6Frameworks
13Insights

Frameworks in this episode

Leadership4 steps

Data-Driven Self-Story Rewriting

Debunk or validate the limiting stories you tell yourself by researching how people actually experience you.

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Mindset4 steps

Envision-the-Ending Goal Discovery

Surface hidden goals by vividly imagining the finished future first, then reverse-engineering the journey to it.

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Self-Mastery4 steps

Head-Heart-Hands Micro-Experiments

Change yourself by running the tiniest possible experiment and reading the result through head, heart, and body.

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Leadership4 steps

Inside-Out Leadership Circles

Lead from the center out — self first, then one-on-ones, teams, and the business — because external fuel cracks.

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Self-Mastery5 steps

Superpower Excavation from Peak Stories

Find your true strengths by overlaying three peak-experience stories and spotting the theme that recurs.

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Self-Mastery4 steps

The Kryptonite Reframe

Ask 'how does this serve me?' to convert a perceived weakness into a functional advantage — or decide to route around it.

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Insights & moments

The myth-busts, hot takes, explainers, and tools worth keeping.

Hot Take· 3

Hot Take12:30

Leadership Isn't User-Centered — It Starts With You

Donna challenges the product-world instinct to be user-centered ('it's not about you, it's about who you bring along'). She argues leadership works the opposite way: you have to start with yourself at the center, then lead others outward in concentric circles. Coming from the inside out isn't selfish, it's purposeful, because fuel drawn from outside is fragile and unsustainable.

  • Product people are trained to build for the customer first; leaders assume the same
  • Donna found leadership actually requires flipping that: start with you first
  • Lead yourself, then one-on-one, then groups, then the business (inside out)
  • Starting with yourself is purposeful, not selfish
  • Fuel that comes from outside is like an eggshell ready to crack

“when you start with you first at the center of the equation”

Donna Lichaw · 13:00

“it's not selfish like I would have thought years ago but it's purposeful”

Donna Lichaw · 14:00
#leadership#self-leadership#purpose#product-thinking
Hot Take36:30

Stop Fixing Weaknesses — Amplify Your Strengths

Donna argues that fixing what's broken is mostly a waste of energy; amplifying strengths has far bigger impact. Both she and Lenny illustrate this personally: Donna hates email and writing yet wrote two books, and Lenny realized he'd never be a great public speaker but thrives writing — which is exactly what built his newsletter. The unlock is that you can reach the same goal through completely different strengths.

  • Studies show playing to strengths beats fixing weaknesses
  • Fixing what's broken is mostly a waste of energy
  • Donna hates email but wrote two books rather than send a long email
  • Lenny leaned into writing instead of forcing public speaking
  • You can achieve the same outcomes using entirely different strengths

“it's a waste of energy to fix what's broken for the most part”

Donna Lichaw · 38:00

“you can achieve all the same things using different strengths”

Lenny · 43:30
#strengths#self-awareness#career#energy
Hot Take1:24:00

Dolly Parton's Wisdom: Find Out Who You Are and Do It on Purpose

Donna, a big Dolly Parton fan, shares two of her favorite Dolly lines that anchor her whole philosophy: 'find out who you are and do it on purpose,' and 'if you don't like the path you're walking on, pave a new path.' She jokes that beyond all the Buddhist, Gestalt and mindfulness material, you could just do what Dolly does and be all good.

  • Dolly quote 1: find out who you are and do it on purpose
  • Dolly quote 2: if you don't like your path, pave a new one
  • These map onto her strengths-and-self-authorship philosophy
  • She half-jokes it captures everything the deeper frameworks say

“find out who you are and do it on Purp purpose”

Donna Lichaw · 1:24:30

“you don't like the path you're walking on pave A New Path”

Donna Lichaw · 1:25:00
#identity#purpose#wisdom#self-authorship

Explainer· 2

Explainer10:30

The Most Powerful Stories Are the Ones You Tell Yourself

Donna explains that the stories we tell others are just the tip of the iceberg. The ones that actually shape our lives are the private stories we tell ourselves ('I'll never succeed,' 'he's such a jerk'). These are usually not true, but the brain can't tell the difference. Since the brain is wired to see stories everywhere, you may as well leverage that to cast yourself as the hero.

  • Stories told to others are the tip of the iceberg; self-told stories run deeper
  • Self-stories are usually not true, but the brain doesn't know the difference
  • The brain's most powerful ability is to see and understand stories everywhere
  • You can leverage this wiring to be the hero of your own life
  • This is grounded in neuroscience and psychology, not just self-help

“they may or may not be true they're usually not true but our brain doesn't know the difference”

Donna Lichaw · 11:00
#storytelling#neuroscience#mindset#self-talk
Explainer31:30

Your 'Kryptonite' Is Often a Superpower in Disguise

Donna uses a Kryptonite metaphor for the things we think harm us. Some Kryptonite you should just avoid or outsource (she can't schedule to save her life). But 'inner' Kryptonite often serves you when you look closer — dyslexia, ADHD and similar aren't impairments so much as brains operating differently, enabling the big, spatial, visual thinking that built the company in the first place.

  • Kryptonite = the things we think make us weak
  • Some Kryptonite (like her scheduling) is best avoided, automated or outsourced
  • Inner Kryptonite often serves a function once you examine it
  • Dyslexia and ADHD mean the brain operates differently, not worse
  • That different wiring drives big-picture, spatial, visual thinking

“it's not so much an impairment it just means that your brain is operating at a different level in a different way than most people”

Donna Lichaw · 34:30

“you think it makes you weak but when you can look at how you it serves you it's often not the case”

Donna Lichaw · 35:30
#strengths#neurodiversity#leadership#mindset

Story· 4

Story06:30

The Offsite Where a Team Told Her Storytelling Wouldn't Fix Anything

Donna's pivot from product/design into executive coaching came from a leadership offsite where she was running storytelling workshops. Blunt engineers pulled her aside and said storytelling wouldn't solve their real problem, which was constant conflict and a lack of connection between leaders. She left feeling terrible, but the hunch that stories still mattered (just not the ones told at people) sent her down a decade-long path into leadership coaching.

  • She was facilitating product-leadership storytelling workshops at a big tech company
  • The team said storytelling was silly and wouldn't fix their conflicts and demotivation
  • The real problem was leaders fighting and failing to connect with each other
  • The insight: stories still mattered, but the ones we tell ourselves, not the ones we tell at people
  • It led her to switch her entire business into leadership coaching

“honestly story telling is not going to fix our problems this is silly”

Donna Lichaw · 06:30
#storytelling#leadership#coaching#career-pivot
Story15:00

The CEO Who Told Himself He Was 'Too Nice'

Donna worked with a billion-dollar-company CEO who privately believed he was too nice, nobody listened to him, and he'd never be a 'real' CEO. Taking a data-driven approach, she interviewed his team and heard the opposite: they found him heartfelt and caring. The real issue wasn't that senior execs weren't listening, it was that they wanted a vision and problems to solve, not to be told what to do or abandoned for two weeks.

  • The CEO's self-stories: too nice, nobody listens, I'll never be a real CEO
  • Donna interviewed his team instead of trusting his self-assessment
  • The team actually described him as heartfelt and caring, not too nice
  • Senior execs didn't want to be told what to do; they wanted vision and problems
  • They also didn't want him absent; the fix was co-writing a better ending together

“the problem with stories like that is they end up taking over your identity”

Donna Lichaw · 16:00

“I didn't hear he's too nice I heard he is so heartfelt and so caring”

Donna Lichaw · 17:30
#leadership#coaching#self-talk#feedback
Story21:30

The 'Too Quiet' Executive Whose Fix Was Listening, Not Talking

One executive kept getting feedback she was too quiet, and this time it was true — her silence in meetings made her team feel unseen and unmotivated. But the answer wasn't yelling over people. Her processing style meant she listened first and had thoughts hours later. Simply communicating that style (a 'personal OS' or 'read me' file) fixed it, and ironically got her talking with her team more anyway.

  • Feedback that she was too quiet was genuinely true, not just a story
  • Her team read her silence as disinterest and it hurt performance
  • Her real style: listen in the meeting, process, share thoughts hours later
  • Solution was communicating her working style, not talking over people
  • Sharing a 'personal OS' / 'read me' led the whole team to share styles too

“the answer was not talking more it actually was listening more”

Donna Lichaw · 25:00

“read me like your own personal read me file”

Lenny · 25:00
#communication#leadership#working-styles#feedback
Story46:30

She Hated Details — Her Real Superpower Was Connecting

An executive at a superpower-obsessed big tech company kept getting 360 reviews praising her 'attention to detail,' which she hated and considered her Kryptonite, and it trapped her in detail work. Digging into her past stories revealed her actual superpower: connecting things, themes, trends and people. Owning 'connector' as her identity let her shed the attention-to-detail label and become far more effective.

  • 360 reviews kept naming 'attention to detail' as her superpower
  • She hated details and wanted to do strategy and high-level work
  • 'Strategist' was too vague to be a real superpower
  • Her past stories revealed her gift for connecting ideas, trends and people
  • Embracing 'connector' as identity let her drop the detail label and thrive

“attention to detail and she was like what on Earth I hate details like that's my cryptonite”

Donna Lichaw · 47:00

“eventually that being a a connector it was her superpower one of her superpowers”

Donna Lichaw · 48:00
#superpowers#self-awareness#identity#coaching

Tool· 1

Tool58:00

Beating Zoom Fatigue With Fidgets and Meeting Hacks

Donna is in video meetings all day and loves it, but Zoom is neurologically draining because you get visual stimuli without the physical presence your brain expects. Her fixes: cap meetings per day, do active things (gym, walks) in between, get in-person social time, keep no-meeting days, and use squishy fidgets to ground yourself and close that missing sensory circuit during calls.

  • Zoom drains you because you get visual input without physical presence
  • Don't schedule too many meetings a day
  • Do active things like gym or walks between calls
  • Get in-person social time and keep no-meeting days
  • Use squishy fidgets to ground yourself during video calls

“don't schedule too many meetings a day great um do lots of active stuff in between uh gym walks whatever try to get inperson Social…”

Donna Lichaw · 59:00

“use fidgets help ground me when uh I'm on Zoom call”

Donna Lichaw · 1:00:00
#remote-work#zoom-fatigue#meetings#productivity

Takeaway· 3

Takeaway26:00

Don't Fight Impostor Syndrome — Ask How It Serves You

Instead of faking it till you make it, Donna suggests a counterintuitive move: treat impostor syndrome as a functional habit and ask how it serves you. For one co-founder, feeling like an impostor triggered her to work harder and learn fast — useful, until it tipped into doing 10x the work and taking on others' emotional labor. The trick is to embrace it without letting it hold you back.

  • Affirmations and 'fake it till you make it' are mechanical props
  • Impostor syndrome is a habit because it serves you in some way
  • One co-founder's impostor feeling drove her to learn and level up fast
  • Overdone, it led to burnout and taking on far too much work for others
  • Embrace it, but not so much that it holds you back

“what if you took a counterintuitive approach and looked at that story I'm an impostor and instead asked okay that's a good good story how…”

Donna Lichaw · 27:00

“to not deny it to embrace it as much as you can but not embrace it so much that it ends up holding you back”

Donna Lichaw · 30:30
#impostor-syndrome#mindset#founders#burnout
Takeaway54:30

Manage Your Energy, Not Your Time

Using your superpowers gives you more energy; overusing them drains it. The practical move is to notice what lights you up and do more of it, outsourcing or supplementing the rest rather than trying to fix everything. Lenny credits this exact energy-audit practice — paying close attention to what gave and sapped his energy after leaving his job — as what led him to his newsletter and podcast.

  • Using your superpowers generates energy; overusing them detracts
  • Do more of what lights you up, manage the rest
  • You don't have to fix everything — outsource or get help
  • Lenny audited what gave vs. sapped his energy after leaving his job
  • That audit led him to build the newsletter and eventually the podcast

“if you're using your superpowers you will have more energy if you use them too much then it's going to detract”

Donna Lichaw · 55:00

“I specifically paid close attention to what gives me energy”

Lenny · 55:30
#energy-management#productivity#strengths#career
Takeaway1:22:00

'Isn't That Interesting' — A Mantra for the Optimistic Stance

Donna keeps a physical sticky note with her mentor's catchphrase, 'isn't that interesting.' A self-described chronic pessimist, she uses it to shift into what Gestalt folks call an optimistic stance — a radical, non-judgmental appreciation of whatever is happening (a stubbed toe, someone talking over you). Noticing the moment without labeling it good or bad leads to more informed, mindful action.

  • The mantra came from a mentor and lives on a physical sticky note
  • It shifts you into an 'optimistic stance' from Gestalt practice
  • It's radical appreciation, not toxic positivity
  • Applied to stubbing a toe or being talked over in a meeting
  • Non-judgmental noticing produces more informed, mindful actions

“her catchphrase is isn't that interesting”

Donna Lichaw · 1:22:00

“it's a kind of radical appreciation not isn't this good or bad”

Donna Lichaw · 1:22:30
#mindfulness#mindset#coaching#self-awareness